In honorary fashion, we like to highlight the last 6 reviews that guests have posted on Yelp about us. We want to highlight these because Yelp does NOT! If you read our Hate Yelp Blog you know that Yelp is a “Pay for Play” platform.
They only post negative reviews on the first page because they want us to pay them for advertising, but because No One uses Yelp except to whine about their feelings, we don’t pay Yelp. We “Troll Yelp instead.”
We had a great summer! We’ve had so many happy guests that it’s astounding, better than ever before!
However, the law of averages dictates that there are is always one that isn’t happy for whatever reason - and he didn’t even stay with us!!!
Maybe he would be happy if he did, but he didn’t, we had to cancel him, read below to find out why.
We want to highlight Michael Bell.
Michael Bell posted his story on Yelp just a few hours ago and his wish was to “give us zero stars.”
Waaaaaa!!!! Oh Ohh, Sorry for the negative experience Michael, but let’s dissect what happened as we always do to understand what went wrong with this wannabe Elite Yelper!
Michael booked a one of our vacation rentals over in December of 2018 to stay a YEAR IN ADVANCE in December 2019. Since the time he booked, he has has not called us or emailed us once.
That’s not how we like to communicate with our guests, but we digress.
Michael booked a home that was highly discounted, because we never had a chance to set our rates!
So, he basically booked it for free - and thought he had a deal.
The owner really disliked that and after we told them, said “I would rather use the house myself.”
We reached out to Michael as soon as possible and had the following dialogue:
We cancelled Michael earlier today, for the following reason:
He got Airbnb involved. Probably looking for them to force us to keep the reservation, but instead here is what he accomplished - Nothing.
Airbnb, does not own our house, WE DO.
We are one of the few licensed and permitted rentals in the Poconos and as soon as there is anything that we think would violate our lease and terms, we will CANCEL YOU!
We do not care if you booked on Airbnb, on Homeaway or via carrier pigeon. We will cancel you as soon as there are issues and we cannot communicate properly. We require an open line of communication with all our guests.
We will move heaven and earth for you if you need us, but we require an open dialogue.
Michael didn’t agree so here is what Airbnb responded with, nothing but…. uhh confusion… and uncertainty…
They were a big help, NOT!
Granted, Michael was probably emotional and thought they would help him, but this was a simple decision for us and since he was looking forward to this trip, we wanted him to have his money back as soon as possible so he can book another place - we thought that was the most honorable thing, but we see Michael does not care about good faith.
In this regard, GLT is actually helping him more than Airbnb did. We gave him back him money. Airbnb did not.
And whaddyaknow! As soon as we did that and Michael had all his money back, Michael took to Yelp:
He added a screenshot from our response for “good measure.”
He thought that by venting his complaint like all Yelpers it will get him Elite Yelp status - we hope you get there, Mickey!
And then, oh man! You are on easy street right?!?!? Sky is the limit!!! HAHAHAHA. We love to hate Yelp and have no respect for their Elite Yelper! Let’s not forget what Anthony Bourdain said about Elite Yelpers!
There is one thing that concerned us, Michael is not sure whether or not he will get another place in time for his trip?!?!?
Don’t worry Michael, I am sure that there are plenty of unsuspecting hosts that you can whine to when you stay with them - and get money back via extortion.
We don’t think you would be a good guest for us, we will pass.
But wait, there is more.
In an effort to be fair to Michael, since he rates lots of places on Yelp with 5 Star Reviews (all food places - he is likely a “big foodie”), but we would like to highlight how he would get a slap from Anthony Bourdain (may he rest in peace) for the following reviews:
Now finally, as much as we like to end these posts with a bang!
Michael was looking for a place on a budget, and sadly he thought he had a great deal, but since he no longer did his mind fluttered and so while it took him to Yelp to find his voice - we don’t want him to have ANY regrets!
We want to Thank You Michael for refraining to say “things you would regret,” as if to save us any punishment but we gladly did it for you!
And Michael, you are WRONG, we do care and want to give you what you asked for on YELP - ZERO STARS!